Friday, September 28, 2007
Memories of August 28, 2007
One month ago today my sweet son Collin was born. I remember him today as I go through life's normal activities, but it doesn't seem normal to me anymore. I remember waking up in my hospital room. I felt awake, and I was surprised since I had to take a sleeping pill to get to sleep the night before. Dr. McCarville came in to do an ultrasound and we found that the fluid had not reformed around Collin. Dr. said that I could induce labor, or wait it out. If I wanted to wait until I naturally went into labor, then I would have to wait at the hospital in Des Moines. I did not want to leave Marshalltown! I had a peace in my heart that everything was supposed to end at home in Marshalltown. Andy and I spent a long time together talking and crying. At 10:00 we met with Pastor Hirsch, Nancy Pins, and Andrea Terrones. We talked to them about what we should do. Should we induce labor, or go to Des Moines? We decided to wait it out and go to Des Moines, even though in my heart I wanted to stay in Marshalltown. After they left, I lay in my bed and contemplated what would happen next, but I noticed that I was starting to get more and more uncomfortable. Nancy informed me that my pain was a significant change, and she told Dr. McCarville. The Dr. checked and I was dialated and starting labor. We decided to induce labor and speed the process along. Time went really fast after that. I don't remember a lot about who I talked with or who I cried with. But I know there were people who came to pray and to wait with me. I remember hearing that Deborah was coming to see me, I was so thankful, I cried. The pain got worse and Dr. Dowell came in to check on me. He told my nurse, Kristi, that I was ready to deliver. The labor went quickly and I do not remember a lot of pain. Collin was born at 3:20pm. Andy and I got to hold him and look at him. We shared him with our parents and family who were there, along with some special friends. We loved looking at his mouth, ears, hands, feet, nose, shoulders...everything. We have great memories of admiring Collin. We took pictures to help us remember him wrapped in his green blanket. I had no idea how I would ever give him up to the nurse. I dreaded having to let him go. To this day, I don't know how I did. People say I was strong. I know it was God-supplied strength. Right now I feel weaker. So many memories of that day flood my mind now. I hope I never forget.
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2 comments:
Wow, Liz, thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I can't help but think that this is so healthy...and moving! Liz, you are incredible; Andy too.
The Lord has a plan. That's all we can hold on to. I know He will bless you...and continue to bless you.
I'm so glad you wrote these things down! I might share this with my friend Kelli because she has asked about you and is praying for you (I saw a post-it note at her office on her computer to remind her to pray for you and Andy). I know she will be blessed by reading this. I hope that is ok to show her this.
Elizabeth,
It is strange to feel like you are privileged to share in someone's pain, but that's how I feel...privileged and honored.
I know I feel that way because of the people you and Andy are - people of great faith and hope. These qualities were evident in you before, but your reponse to great tragedy has proven them so.
When I think about you, Andy, and all that you both have gone through in your lives, even before the gift of Collin, I come to the same conclusion evey time: God knows that you are strong enough to handle such things.
Thank you for allowing me the privilege to see into your heart through what you write, and the honor of sharing your pain.
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